Charlotte Powers 1: Power Down Page 4

  I started to cry.

  I didn't choose to. I didn't want to. But with that new pain (and my nose STILL hurts) and everyone laughing and things going so wrong and blood on my face and in my hair I just couldn't help it.

  Then, guess what? Things got WORSE.

  First this woman came bustling up, a staff member, maybe a teacher or secretary or something, I don't know. She pushed through the students to get to me, at first I thought she was going to stop them laughing but she just started yelling at me, about being stupid and even BRINGING a guitar to school and getting blood on the floor and then she started ranting about health risks and blood diseases and I don't even know what else because now I REALLY couldn't stop crying, and she grabbed my Fender from where it was lying and threw—actually THREW!—a you-got-in-trouble ticket at me, I don't even know what to do with it, she didn't tell me, and then she bustled off again. Her being there actually did stop the other students laughing at me, and some of them started to move off after she left, but that just cleared the way for the worst person I've ever met to show up. I know I haven't met a LOT of people, but still, she's EASILY the worst. She came swaggering up with about twenty girls behind her, everyone parting to let her through, and she stood right in front of me as I sniffed and snuffled and gingerly made sure that my nose was actually still on. For ages she just looked at me with this little smirk at the corner of her mouth, then she said:

  "Quite the first impression, Fumbles."

  Fumbles. That's my name now, here. Fumbles. I seriously just wanted to sink through the floor, I tried SO HARD to get my phase-shift power to work then, I didn't care if everyone knew I had powers, I didn't care if I got trapped underground forever, I just wanted the whole thing to be over. It wasn't, though, and my powers didn't work, of course. Because they're gone. Maybe forever, I don't know. All I know is that I didn't sink through the floor, and the girl—Veronica, I found out her name later, Veronica Flux—spoke again:

  "I don't know what kind of 'look' you were aiming for, but one thing's for sure—you missed."

  And everyone laughed. She looked around, just totally pleased with herself, then she looked at me again and clucked her tongue like I was some kind of disappointment to her, like I was her personal responsibility and I'd let her down, and she said:

  "Peel yourself off the floor and go wash your face. Angelica, escort her to a bathroom and make sure she's presentable." Then she looked at me again. "Should she take you to a boy's bathroom or a girl's bathroom?"

  And she said it with TOTAL sincerity, like she was just SO concerned but honestly couldn't figure out if I was a boy or a girl. I'm not a boy! I don't look anything like a boy! Maybe I'm not the prettiest girl in the world but I have long eyelashes and my hair is long and girly and okay so I don't really have breasts but that's because I'm athletic, athletic girls don't have any spare fat, that's allowed, that's okay, and besides all of that I was wearing a GIRL'S UNIFORM!

  But she waited. She waited for me to answer and everyone waited with her and maybe I wouldn't have answered, maybe I would've been able to think of something clever and biting and non-humiliating to respond with except for this STUPID CURSE, this curse that made me say in the weakest most pathetic most pitiful little voice:

  "Girl's bathroom."

  And she kind of cocked her head to the side and gave me a pitying look and did this little head-shake and pursed-lips thing and when she spoke again it was with arrrrgh I don't even know WHAT to call it I can barely write now remembering it but she said:

  "Oh, you poor thing."

  And then she flounced off, her dozens of followers going after her, and someone grabbed my arm and pulled me up and got me to a bathroom and left me there, and I managed to wash my face and get most of the blood out of my hair and after a while I got my nose to stop bleeding, and that's when I noticed that ALL down the front of my uniform was stained with blood, the cute white bow and everything below it, I can't even believe how much blood came from one little nose (actually my nose isn't that little, it's long and straight and arrrrgh SO not in the mood for this stupid curse right now!).

  Deep breath.

  Sigh.

  Another sigh.

  So there I was, in the bathroom, trying to clean up. What could I do? WHAT could I do? The bell had already rung for morning class and I couldn't exactly get changed, they only gave me one uniform and I was already late ... so I went to class. I was expecting gasps of shock and horror and probably for the teacher to yell at me, but nobody said anything. Nobody even looked at me, not even the teacher. There were a lot of students in the class but there were some empty desks at the back, so I went and sat down in one but someone poked me and hissed "Not there!" but I don't know why, I don't know why not there so I stood up to find another seat but then I didn't know what to do, I didn't know which seat to take so I kind of just stood there frozen, just staring at the seats, and then the teacher DID notice me and he said "Just anywhere, just sit down anywhere!" so I sat down at another desk and he sighed and shook his head and I kind of stared at him and then he said "Not THERE" so I stood up again ...

  Let me just get this out of the way right now: I cried again. Not as badly as before, but it was still pretty bad. I managed to kind of half-hide it as I sat down at a third desk, apparently this one was okay because after that everyone ignored me again, thank GOODNESS, and I got my crying under control after a minute, except then my nose was kind of bleeding a little bit again so what could I do? I had to get up again, and now everyone was looking at me, and the teacher stopped the lesson (I don't even know what it was ABOUT, I don't even know what SUBJECT it was, now that I think about it I'm not sure I was even in the right CLASSROOM) and just LOOKED at me with this mockingly patient expression on his face while I stumbled out. I hit my leg against a desk when I was almost to the door. That I managed to catch myself before I fell over is probably the best thing that happened to me today. And that's so sad I think I'm going to cry again.

  I found a bathroom and tidied myself up, and kind of stared longingly at an open window leading outside for about ten minutes before I went back to the classroom again, when I got back everyone was hard at work doing something, I could see them through the little window in the door, I don't know what they were doing because I just couldn't make myself go back in. Instead I went back to the bathroom and I locked myself in one of the toilets until the bell rang for the next class. I thought maybe I could get a fresh start with something new, that I could put everything that had already happened behind me and forget my 'entrance' and the horrible class of shame and everything.

  So I unlocked the toilet and I left the bathroom, and someone recognised me from the morning like INSTANTLY and then suddenly everyone was calling "Fumbles! Hey Fumbles!" and pushing me from one side of the corridor to the other, and actually it's kind of lucky I DIDN'T have my powers at that point because some people could have gotten seriously thrown through a couple of roofs. As it was I just ... just did nothing. What could I do? What COULD I have done? I just took it. I took it and I just tried to get to my next class in time, which somehow through some amazing miracle I managed to do. Through another miracle nobody noticed me and I found an empty desk which was apparently okay to sit at, and the teacher even smiled at me a little although I wasn't really in any kind of state to appreciate that, and the software they use at this school is the same as I used at home, I already have it on my Opal and the coursework is the same as I did like three years ago and all my old work is still in here so maybe academically at least I'm not going to have any problems ...

  But somehow that 'good' class just made everything feel worse. I couldn't handle lunch, I couldn't handle afternoon classes, I couldn't handle being normal and I couldn't handle people. So after that class I just ran away, back to my apartment, where I'm hiding now, with the door locked and the curtains drawn as tight as they can go, sitting under the covers of my bed with my only friend in the world; my Opal. I already tried for ten minutes to get a
n outside connection, any kind of connection that'll let me call my family, my Mum and my Dad and even Daniel, I miss them all so much and it hasn't even been two days ...

  I'm going to stop writing now so I can have another cry. A really good long proper one. Tomorrow can't be any worse than today was. Maybe everyone will have forgotten 'Fumbles' then—or, even better, maybe I'll get a call or a message or SOMETHING from my family to say they've found me, that they've fixed the problem, that Daniel's done some genius thing to his teleporter and it'll be able to pluck me from this stupid apartment in this stupid school in this stupid town and bring me back home, why did I ever leave? Why did I ever WANT to leave? I just want to go home!

  But I'm stuck here. Stuck here in this stupid awful school and I don't even have a clean uniform now. I should go find out where to get it cleaned and maybe where to get another one.

  But first, another cry.

  xx48.11.03 / 07:23 / Wednesday

  Horrible little thought I just had, after waking up. I fell asleep thinking about Daniel's teleporter last night, I even dreamt about it. In my dream, I could see my powers as part of me, as colours. Dad's super-strength was white, Mum's super-agility was red, and Daniel's phase-shifting was kind of purple-grey. But when I went through his teleporter they all got ripped out of me so I was just left as nothing, like a shadow, colourless and flat and alone.

  Was it Daniel's teleporter that stole my powers? It's ever since I arrived here that I haven't been able to use them, I was phasing when I fell through the earth but after I turned it 'off' I haven't been able to do anything. The more I think about this the worse the feeling gets that my brother destroyed my powers.

  I suppose it doesn't matter much now, though. I'm powerless and alone and nobody who cares about me even knows where I am.

  Also, I have a headache. Yes, just what I needed, I know. It's my first headache ever and I'd be happy if I never had one again, it's this horrible little pain in my forehead that I can't get rid of. I know I've already said this, but pain SUCKS.

  I should get ready for class.

  xx48.11.03 / 12:46 / Still Wednesday

  Today I learnt a valuable lesson about 'not judging people on first appearances'. The morning classes were okay, nobody noticed me and the work was so easy that the hardest thing was staying awake. Then it was lunchtime, and on the way to the lunch room I was ambushed by Veronica Flux and her seventeen friends (there are precisely seventeen of them, I counted). At first I almost tried to run or hide or something, but then something amazing happened! She was NICE to me! I mean, REALLY nice! I'll write down exactly what happened, because I definitely want a record of this.

  First I think I was kind of cringing and looking fairly unhappy, so Veronica—Ronny!—smiled at me, a really nice big bright smile and she said:

  "I'm so sorry about yesterday, Charlotte."

  She found out my name! I don't think I've even told it to anyone, she must have made a special effort to go to the admin office or something to find it out! That's so thoughtful!

  "I was thinking about it later," (she was continuing while I kind of swooned a bit over her specially finding out my name) "and I realised you could have taken my actions to be rude—I really didn't intend them to come across like that, it was just that with your hair such a mess and everything I honestly wasn't sure 'who' you were. We have all sorts in this school, you see, some of the boys prefer the girl's uniform—and some of the girls like the boy's uniform."

  Of course. Of course, that makes so much sense, I've seen that kind of thing on about a dozen TV shows. She wasn't being mean, she was just trying to be, what's the word, 'inclusive'? Or anyway her intention was to genuinely find out whether I wanted to go to the boy's bathroom or the girl's bathroom, she was just being nice!

  "Anyway," she said, while I was still just standing there dazed and happy, "to make it up I wanted to invite you to my table at the cafeteria, you're new here so you must be a little lonely and nervous about things. Don't worry, we'll take care of you. By the way, I'm Veronica, we didn't really have a proper introduction yesterday. You can call me Ronny, all of my closest friends do."

  So, guess what? I got to sit at her table and eat lunch with her and all her seventeen friends! It was AMAZING, I was actually in such a happy daze about it all I can't remember much, I'm actually in one of the toilets now just to write this down, I couldn't hold it in—um, I mean I couldn't hold in 'writing about my amazing lunch' not, y'know, Other Stuff. Anyway, I'm going to go back out now, there's still some time left before lunch ends and I want to enjoy every minute.

  I think I have my first friend!

  xx48.11.03 / 15:24 / Still Wednesday

  It's after school now. The rest of my lunch with Ronny and her group was GREAT and I even kind of enjoyed the afternoon class, it was Literature and we discussed Monster One, I really kind of got into it! It's not, like, my favourite book or anything but it's pretty interesting and definitely a 'classic' and my opinions were listened to! I mean ... nobody was really THAT interested to be TOTALLY honest, the students here are kind of ... what's the word ... 'unresponsive'? It's hard to talk to them. Not like with Ronny, talking with her is so easy, she makes things so 'smooth', even if she and her friends all talk so fast it's actually pretty hard to understand them.

  There was one weird thing that happened today, though. After I'd finished writing in the toilet I went and washed my hands just because, and then while I was just drying them I suddenly noticed that I wasn't alone in the bathroom. For me that's REALLY weird, I'm really sensitive about other people being around, maybe from living trapped in a secret base for most of my life? But this girl just, like, appeared from nowhere, I kind of got a fright.

  "Perhaps you shouldn't sit with Veronica," she said. She talked in this kind of mumbly whisper, kind of creepy. Maybe I should describe her, since she also LOOKED kind of creepy. She was tall and skinny, but really stooped and awkward, like she was trying to fold herself into a smaller space, and she kept glancing around like she was ... I don't know, like she was checking something, except what was there to check? It was just me and her in the bathroom. She has really long black hair, longer than mine, and she kind of lets it hang over her face and also when she talks she talks to the floor, so you can't really see 'her' at all. She was wearing a dull grey sweater over her uniform—which was a boy's uniform, now that I think back on it—and she had on her black gym sweatpants. Her shoes seemed kind of nice, though. Shiny.

  Anyway, after she said that, "Perhaps you shouldn't sit with Veronica", I just kind of stared at her for a bit, so she talked again in that same mumbly whisper:

  "If you don't act strangely they'll get bored of you and leave you alone. I've seen that happen before."

  "I don't want them to leave me alone," I said, after I found my voice. "I like them, they're nice to me."

  The girl listened to me very carefully, even though she wasn't looking at me she had this air of creepy intense concentration about her. When I'd finished talking she kind of nodded and said:

  "It's okay. I just wanted to warn you."

  And then she left, kind of shuffled out of the bathroom. Warn me! Warn me about what, niceness? Brightness? Friendliness? All things that are foreign to HER, I'm sure! I think she's just jealous, that I'm new and I'm already sitting at the most popular table in the whole school with the NICEST girl in the whole school. Maybe I'll put my hair in a ponytail tomorrow, like Ronny's. It looks really nice, she has blonde hair that's all shiny and pretty, and it kind of 'pulls back' from her face, which is good because she is SO pretty. Lovely skin, sharp eyebrows, deep brown eyes, kind of 'perfect' really.

  Anyway! I have homework for the first time ever! Well ... technically I guess ALL of my previous education was 'homework' because I did it at home, but this is my first PROPER take-home homework. After that I'll probably walk into town and buy some groceries, I'm pretty good at cooking even if it's me saying it. I need to stock my fridge! Maybe I'll try to find some deco
rations and things, too, to make this apartment more 'me'.

  Can't wait for tomorrow!

  xx48.11.04 / 21:45 / Thursday

  Okay so you know how on Tuesday I said THAT was the worst day of my life? I lied. Well, I didn't LIE, I can't LIE, but today was DEFINITELY the worst day of my life, so that kind of makes what I said untrue and therefore a lie. There are only two words that could sum up today's events:

  TOTAL DISASTER.

  Well actually NO, 'disaster' isn't the word I want even though it was TOTALLY a disaster, I need a more powerful word than that:

  TOTAL HUMILIATION.

  Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh, I thought I was depressed before but now ... my life is over. I want to die. I'm that down about things. I just spent the last three hours trying to get an outside signal on my Opal, I went for a big walk up the hills behind the school and even climbed on to the apartment roof. Result? Nothing. Local nets only. I WANT MY FAMILY!

  Sigh.

  I suppose I should write down what happened. Things started off okay. Morning classes were fine, just more boring than I expected. I keep trying to enjoy them but nobody else seems to want to make an effort, not even the teachers. Boring classes are the least of my problems now, though. Lunchtime was when it all went wrong. I was so excited to see 'Ronny' again and her friends and to sit with them and listen to them chat ... but when I went up to their table and said "Hi Ronny!" and went to sit down she just looked at me with this totally blank expression. It was like she hit me, it felt that bad, I don't know why, just seeing her blank face while her seventeen friends all giggled and nudged each other and sneered at me was the worst thing in the world. She waited until I'd recovered a little from the shock and was just really confused and stunned before she talked:

  "Nobody calls me Ronny," she said.